I guess sometimes I'm just too busy to do what I want to do; because I'm doing what I have to do.
I wish I could come here and post more regularly.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Migraines
Most people remember when they started having migraine headaches. I started when I was in high school. The first time was incredible; why was my head hurting so violently without an injury?
My mom made an appointment with our family doctor for me. He talked to me about the pain and right away prescribed 2 Darvon 65 mg. I remember thinking they were Ohio State's colors. I would take them, close my window shades and sleep through the rest of the day and night.
I awoke with the headache still pounding in my head. I ate breakfast and would vomit, take one Darvon and walk to school with the pain. Our girl's guidance counselor, Miss Purviance was great and would let me go to the clinic and sleep part of the morning, making sure the room was dark. She would give me peppermint drops to put in water to help my stomach calm down. That would give me some relief. When I would wake up she would fix me a cup of tea and send me back to class.
I'd go home eat some supper, go back upstairs and vomit, take my Darvon and go to sleep for the night. After 3 to 5 days the headache would abate and I would be back to my normal active self. The headaches did not have a pattern of occurrence; I felt like I was being ambushed when they came though. The doctor hoped I would outgrow them and he was good at giving me pain medication when I needed it.
The habit to draw my shades and keep my bedroom darker started when I realized my headaches were not so frequent when in subdued lighting. Looking back maybe the florescent lights at school were a player in the headaches, I don't know. My mother would say, ' You're hiding in that dark room'. I had no idea what I was hiding from other than the pain of those debilitating headaches.
I vomited so much that we even had a family joke about my time in the bathroom vomitting. That was started by a roomer who rented our third floor bedroom when he made a comment to my family; very funny Tom.
Once I graduated from high school the intensity of the headaches slowed down. I went to Southern Ohio College and had only one headache while attending. By the time I started dating my husband I would say that the headaches seemed to disappear. After moving out of the house I had no more migraines. L my sister-in-law said that was what I needed all along, to be out of the house. I would have a light headache but nothing too bad and I would just take an asprin and it was gone.
Around the time my daughter was 4 years old, things changed again. I had the headaches back but they were different. I didn't vomit any more just could not function and would go to bed after taking my Darvon. My husband worked nights and was home during the day if I needed to lie down. I tried not to give in to all that sleeping.
The doctor decided I needed some very indepth tests and admitted me into the hospital. X-rays, scans, interviews with psychologists, and finally one morning they had me attend a group therapy session. Walking through those doors, having them lock behind me and then attending the session; that got my attention. My doctor came to me and asked me if I wanted to stay in that ward. I said no, the people in that session were ill and I was not ill like they are. He said good I wanted you to see that mentally you're very healthy, but we don't know the cause of your headaches. He then said he wanted me to see the other doctor and have them try some other medications on me.
Back then they wanted you to see a psychiatrist and have them monitor the medication. I was given Atarax and Elavil and scheduled to attend a therapy session. I was on both medicines for at least 8 months if not a year; I can't remember exactly and my headaches abated. But after that my extended family treated me like I had a mental condition and they thought they had to tip-toe around me. I often wonder if my mother started that concept, I guess I'll never know. The medications helped me tremendously and just talking to Mary, my counselor helped me realize even though my family treated me like I was weak in some way; I was just a migraine suffering person and needed the medication to help keep away the pain.
Mary was very helpful and we figured out that I needed to snack inbetween meals, mainly with some protein and my headaches would not come back so fiercely. Even now I try to always make sure I eat some source of protein at each meal to keep from getting ill, and snack on a piece of cheese or another source of protein. The doctor ordered a glucose tolerance test and said the results were borderline for low blood sugar. Today those results are normal and I just eat my snacks and protein to keep those headaches from ever coming back.
Through the years since I have had a couple migraines, the now drug of choice is Darvocet and it works well to rid me of the pain. I went to emergency a couple of times during the late 80s early 90s and they gave me Ativan, that stuff just knocked me out and I slept until the headache was gone. Hmmm escaping from the pain isn't so bad at times. But then I feel like I've missed out on life and I Like Life!
The Present
Now if I have a headache I can figure out what the cause is; generally lack of sleep/food, a change in the weather is coming or like today the blinds are missing from the window and way too much light is present. If I get a migraine I call my doctor and he has me take Darvocet to get me through.
My mom made an appointment with our family doctor for me. He talked to me about the pain and right away prescribed 2 Darvon 65 mg. I remember thinking they were Ohio State's colors. I would take them, close my window shades and sleep through the rest of the day and night.
I awoke with the headache still pounding in my head. I ate breakfast and would vomit, take one Darvon and walk to school with the pain. Our girl's guidance counselor, Miss Purviance was great and would let me go to the clinic and sleep part of the morning, making sure the room was dark. She would give me peppermint drops to put in water to help my stomach calm down. That would give me some relief. When I would wake up she would fix me a cup of tea and send me back to class.
I'd go home eat some supper, go back upstairs and vomit, take my Darvon and go to sleep for the night. After 3 to 5 days the headache would abate and I would be back to my normal active self. The headaches did not have a pattern of occurrence; I felt like I was being ambushed when they came though. The doctor hoped I would outgrow them and he was good at giving me pain medication when I needed it.
The habit to draw my shades and keep my bedroom darker started when I realized my headaches were not so frequent when in subdued lighting. Looking back maybe the florescent lights at school were a player in the headaches, I don't know. My mother would say, ' You're hiding in that dark room'. I had no idea what I was hiding from other than the pain of those debilitating headaches.
I vomited so much that we even had a family joke about my time in the bathroom vomitting. That was started by a roomer who rented our third floor bedroom when he made a comment to my family; very funny Tom.
Once I graduated from high school the intensity of the headaches slowed down. I went to Southern Ohio College and had only one headache while attending. By the time I started dating my husband I would say that the headaches seemed to disappear. After moving out of the house I had no more migraines. L my sister-in-law said that was what I needed all along, to be out of the house. I would have a light headache but nothing too bad and I would just take an asprin and it was gone.
Around the time my daughter was 4 years old, things changed again. I had the headaches back but they were different. I didn't vomit any more just could not function and would go to bed after taking my Darvon. My husband worked nights and was home during the day if I needed to lie down. I tried not to give in to all that sleeping.
The doctor decided I needed some very indepth tests and admitted me into the hospital. X-rays, scans, interviews with psychologists, and finally one morning they had me attend a group therapy session. Walking through those doors, having them lock behind me and then attending the session; that got my attention. My doctor came to me and asked me if I wanted to stay in that ward. I said no, the people in that session were ill and I was not ill like they are. He said good I wanted you to see that mentally you're very healthy, but we don't know the cause of your headaches. He then said he wanted me to see the other doctor and have them try some other medications on me.
Back then they wanted you to see a psychiatrist and have them monitor the medication. I was given Atarax and Elavil and scheduled to attend a therapy session. I was on both medicines for at least 8 months if not a year; I can't remember exactly and my headaches abated. But after that my extended family treated me like I had a mental condition and they thought they had to tip-toe around me. I often wonder if my mother started that concept, I guess I'll never know. The medications helped me tremendously and just talking to Mary, my counselor helped me realize even though my family treated me like I was weak in some way; I was just a migraine suffering person and needed the medication to help keep away the pain.
Mary was very helpful and we figured out that I needed to snack inbetween meals, mainly with some protein and my headaches would not come back so fiercely. Even now I try to always make sure I eat some source of protein at each meal to keep from getting ill, and snack on a piece of cheese or another source of protein. The doctor ordered a glucose tolerance test and said the results were borderline for low blood sugar. Today those results are normal and I just eat my snacks and protein to keep those headaches from ever coming back.
Through the years since I have had a couple migraines, the now drug of choice is Darvocet and it works well to rid me of the pain. I went to emergency a couple of times during the late 80s early 90s and they gave me Ativan, that stuff just knocked me out and I slept until the headache was gone. Hmmm escaping from the pain isn't so bad at times. But then I feel like I've missed out on life and I Like Life!
The Present
Now if I have a headache I can figure out what the cause is; generally lack of sleep/food, a change in the weather is coming or like today the blinds are missing from the window and way too much light is present. If I get a migraine I call my doctor and he has me take Darvocet to get me through.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Fried Bologna Sandwiches
It is rainy and chilly out today; I wanted something warmer than the cold turkey bologna sandwiches I had planned for my lunch. I don't usually eat processed lunch meat but was craving some bologna. Instead of cold bologna I frizzled it and put a few shreds of cheddar cheese on the slices before removing them from the pan, letting it melt just a bit. While sliding them onto my soft wheat bread I remembered my brother J taught me how to make the best fried bologna sandwiches.
When I was around 16 J and his wife had a little boy and I was helping take care of him because his wife had to have stitches and was told to take it easy and have someone come to help her. I stayed every day for the first two weeks, going home on the weekends. My brother cooked lunch since he worked nights and I made supper. He liked experimenting with different tastes and had developed a very tasty fried bologna sandwich.
He would cut a quarter into the slice of bologna before placing it in the skillet so it would not bubble up in the middle. While it was heating he would string celery stalks, julienne and place them on the bread. When the bologna was almost done he would sprinkle it with some chili powder, and then slide those slices of bologna onto our waiting bread and Yum it was delicious.
When I was around 16 J and his wife had a little boy and I was helping take care of him because his wife had to have stitches and was told to take it easy and have someone come to help her. I stayed every day for the first two weeks, going home on the weekends. My brother cooked lunch since he worked nights and I made supper. He liked experimenting with different tastes and had developed a very tasty fried bologna sandwich.
He would cut a quarter into the slice of bologna before placing it in the skillet so it would not bubble up in the middle. While it was heating he would string celery stalks, julienne and place them on the bread. When the bologna was almost done he would sprinkle it with some chili powder, and then slide those slices of bologna onto our waiting bread and Yum it was delicious.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Stages of Healing
It's been over 6 years since I had my knee replaced with a titanium one. I still have my own knee cap, but they put a 'new' backing on it. I can still remember the pain but not as vividly. I'm very thankful that I can walk without pain now; though I may not be able to do the things I loved to do. I have mourned them, sometimes with tears.
Before the surgery I would hike a lot, not long hikes, lots of short ones. My favorite place was Glen Helen nature reserve. I really liked hiking there in the snow. Seeing the deer on the frozen water; following their path, being close enough to hear their breathing. In the warm weather I could jump across the stream on the rocks that were stepping stones. I could go along the narrow paths and climb up the steps to the nature center. I would take my three grandsons for hikes with me too. I loved those times. We would create our own GORP. I had backpacks and hiking sticks for them and we would go for a wonderful afternoon hike. I really miss those times. I also walked for exericise and of course rode my bike 13 miles a day. I would ride 25 to 30 miles on the weekends. When we were looking for homes I even found a place that was right on the bike path. I wanted to move there so it would be easier for me to jump on the path; no more toting the bike in my car.
After surgery I never have gotten my range of motion back. It should be at least 120°; I'm only at 90° and sometimes as good as 100°. Because of that loss I was unable to ride my Cannondale®. I cried. I gave up buying the home in the biking community and we bought a new one without thoughts of cycling again. A couple of years later I talked to my surgeon and he said it may take me 3 or 4 years but I would eventually be able to ride again. I had so much damage from the original accident and he had to do a lot of repair work. I had hope once again.
One weekend I was railfanning and met two older couples; they showed me their bikes. They told me how they were different and I may be able to ride one even with my shortened range of motion. I could not wait to get back home and look for an Electra Townie®. I went online, read about them and picked out one I liked. I went to the bike shop with a friend to help me in case I found it. At the bike shop I saw exactly the one I had chosen on the internet and it was on sale for over a $50 savings. I tried it in the parking lot; I could ride a bike again. I bought it right then and there. I cried all the way home because of happiness. I had a bike I could ride.
Sometimes I wish we had moved to the bike path community now that I can ride again; but at least I can ride in my neighborhood. I have a carrier for my bike and take it to the path and that can be fun too. I don't ride the long treks I used though.
Healing takes time and it comes in different stages. Once I thought I had lost so much that I enjoyed doing. It's back but modified, I can accept that. I love life!
Before the surgery I would hike a lot, not long hikes, lots of short ones. My favorite place was Glen Helen nature reserve. I really liked hiking there in the snow. Seeing the deer on the frozen water; following their path, being close enough to hear their breathing. In the warm weather I could jump across the stream on the rocks that were stepping stones. I could go along the narrow paths and climb up the steps to the nature center. I would take my three grandsons for hikes with me too. I loved those times. We would create our own GORP. I had backpacks and hiking sticks for them and we would go for a wonderful afternoon hike. I really miss those times. I also walked for exericise and of course rode my bike 13 miles a day. I would ride 25 to 30 miles on the weekends. When we were looking for homes I even found a place that was right on the bike path. I wanted to move there so it would be easier for me to jump on the path; no more toting the bike in my car.
After surgery I never have gotten my range of motion back. It should be at least 120°; I'm only at 90° and sometimes as good as 100°. Because of that loss I was unable to ride my Cannondale®. I cried. I gave up buying the home in the biking community and we bought a new one without thoughts of cycling again. A couple of years later I talked to my surgeon and he said it may take me 3 or 4 years but I would eventually be able to ride again. I had so much damage from the original accident and he had to do a lot of repair work. I had hope once again.
One weekend I was railfanning and met two older couples; they showed me their bikes. They told me how they were different and I may be able to ride one even with my shortened range of motion. I could not wait to get back home and look for an Electra Townie®. I went online, read about them and picked out one I liked. I went to the bike shop with a friend to help me in case I found it. At the bike shop I saw exactly the one I had chosen on the internet and it was on sale for over a $50 savings. I tried it in the parking lot; I could ride a bike again. I bought it right then and there. I cried all the way home because of happiness. I had a bike I could ride.
Sometimes I wish we had moved to the bike path community now that I can ride again; but at least I can ride in my neighborhood. I have a carrier for my bike and take it to the path and that can be fun too. I don't ride the long treks I used though.
Healing takes time and it comes in different stages. Once I thought I had lost so much that I enjoyed doing. It's back but modified, I can accept that. I love life!
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Oh They're The Same Thing!
The last two weeks have been rough. About 4 years ago I kept having terrible nausa, could not even drink water or eat some veggies and stomach pain mainly at night. I went through tons of tests and they could not find that I had GERD; only a terribly irritated stomach. So the doctor thought we should try using a proton pump inhibitor, it worked great; no side effects. Change insurance so change medications but always the brand name. One time we changed to a generic but it didn't work after the first day so we changed to another brand name.
At the beginning of this year new insurance through the dh retirement plan. The new medical insurance decided they didn't want to pay for Nexium only for the generic. No choice for me or my doctor. I started the 'new' medication. After about 3 days on it I started having anxiety feelings. Since I expected to have the stomach pain if the generic wasn't working I didn't connect the anxiety with the change of medications. (I heard from the nurse. they're the same thing) No reason for the anxiety but it kept getting worse. I called my reg dr. and he had me take a light anti-anxiety. It kept getting worse and worse; one morning I woke up shaking and had to get a hug to settle down. Seemed like I couldn't concentrate as well as before and little things irritated me that would never cause me problems.
At the beginning of this year new insurance through the dh retirement plan. The new medical insurance decided they didn't want to pay for Nexium only for the generic. No choice for me or my doctor. I started the 'new' medication. After about 3 days on it I started having anxiety feelings. Since I expected to have the stomach pain if the generic wasn't working I didn't connect the anxiety with the change of medications. (I heard from the nurse. they're the same thing) No reason for the anxiety but it kept getting worse. I called my reg dr. and he had me take a light anti-anxiety. It kept getting worse and worse; one morning I woke up shaking and had to get a hug to settle down. Seemed like I couldn't concentrate as well as before and little things irritated me that would never cause me problems.
I had been talking to one of my sisters and she was praying for me too. She has been encouraging me and praying and praying. I was so upset one night I just called out to God and said I wanted to be Jan again; please give me an idea of what to change or what I should do to go back to how I was feeling 2 weeks prior. After praying I fell right to sleep and then around 3:30 I woke up with the thought that I had changed to a generic right before this all started. I found a Nexium in my purse and decided to take it that morning. I had an appointment with my gastro doctor that afternoon and by then I was feeling so much better.
We had a good discussion and I'm going to use a brand name proton pump inhibitor that can be purchased OTC ; wean myself off and control the problem with diet. I'm so thankful to God for hearing our prayers and giving me the answer. I know it will take some time but I'm sure I'm going to be in better health taking better care of my body. Oh to feel like myself once again.. Hooray!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Winter times
It's great seeing all the snow we are having; like when I was a kid and winter was winter. Living in Kansas we had plenty of snow and there was a great sledding hill on the street behind ours. There would usually be a nice fire on the park at the intersection of the avenues. My brothers had sleds and would take me down with them. We had so much fun and would go home to have hot cocoa. That was when Mom made it with milk, sugar and powdered cocoa, delicious!
One year we walked to our grade school, my youngest brother and I and made an American flag in the snow on the play ground. We were so proud of ourselves. I only wish we had an arial picture of it.
My drive to work is pretty slow with all the country roads I travel. I just take my time and try to be very careful.
I was just remembering in the winter my mom would make hot cereal and on Valentine's day she would wake us up for school and we would have pink hot rice for breakfast. In March for St. Patrick's day she may make green pancakes. It was fun wondering what she would do for those holidays. She was pretty creative to make times seem nicer for us.
I tried to do those things for my kids but I don't think they relished it like we did. Times are different and our kids would have items and goodies on a regular basis that would have seemed like a luxury to us. We never would go out to eat unless we were traveling and not even then sometimes. Fast food was not the norm when we were growing up. I can remember my first hamburger. We were traveling to visit our aunt and on the way we stopped at a 'Sandy's' for a burger and fries. I thought they were delicious. 15 cents for a burger but it was fun!
My sisters worked at a drive-in when they were in high school. Sometimes they would bring home a milk shake for me but I was usually asleep by the time they arrived home with it. So they 'had' to drink it.
One year we walked to our grade school, my youngest brother and I and made an American flag in the snow on the play ground. We were so proud of ourselves. I only wish we had an arial picture of it.
My drive to work is pretty slow with all the country roads I travel. I just take my time and try to be very careful.
I was just remembering in the winter my mom would make hot cereal and on Valentine's day she would wake us up for school and we would have pink hot rice for breakfast. In March for St. Patrick's day she may make green pancakes. It was fun wondering what she would do for those holidays. She was pretty creative to make times seem nicer for us.
I tried to do those things for my kids but I don't think they relished it like we did. Times are different and our kids would have items and goodies on a regular basis that would have seemed like a luxury to us. We never would go out to eat unless we were traveling and not even then sometimes. Fast food was not the norm when we were growing up. I can remember my first hamburger. We were traveling to visit our aunt and on the way we stopped at a 'Sandy's' for a burger and fries. I thought they were delicious. 15 cents for a burger but it was fun!
My sisters worked at a drive-in when they were in high school. Sometimes they would bring home a milk shake for me but I was usually asleep by the time they arrived home with it. So they 'had' to drink it.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Never Too Old
I missed posting in the fall and now it's half way through winter. One of my thoughts is that I'm never too old to grow up. There were times in my life that I thought I knew what was the right way to handle situations and it probably was the right way for that time in my life. I also know that there is nothing wrong with changing my reaction to situations and circumstances, to grow up so to speak. I also want to look at others with that same 'color of lens'. Give everyone the grace I allow for myself.
I have a friend who lost her husband a few years back and she has been struggling. Last week I bought her a bear and picked out an outfit for him. She was surprised and excited too. I told her you're never too old for a bear to hug and hold.
I have a friend who lost her husband a few years back and she has been struggling. Last week I bought her a bear and picked out an outfit for him. She was surprised and excited too. I told her you're never too old for a bear to hug and hold.
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